INEXPLICABLE - Phase 1: Chance_ Chapter 3

Phase 1: Chance

Chapter 3

Her: Growing on me

When he came back into the cabin, I fought myself to stay calm. I hid my relief at seeing him and went back to my lotus. No way I was going to tell him I asked the stewardess where he went. Not fueling that superego of his. That was also when I decided to give him the unpredictable. When he apologized and wanted to know me, I did not feign interest. A rockstar or not, he ran his mouth at me. He changed me from the woman of this morning. No, from the woman of this past year. To feel how I used to be, sure and confident of myself. This is a chance incident with a known stranger. I knew so much about him but the reverse was zilch. When would I get an opportunity this insane? When would anyone? This is my time. Ady, get ready to meet your match.

After a quick, charged conversation, he fell quiet. It didn't faze me that he was silent. I knew he was preparing for a battle with me. To him, I am a maze and a complete enigma. To me, well, he was my one-time chance to be cool and casual with someone so famous as him. Our worlds were two different entities. After this flight, we were never going to see each other again. My mundane life, a well-paying job, and my wonderful family await me. For now, I am clearing out my mind. Now, I was just 7B. I waited patiently for the impending doom. Of him, of course.

So... are you a poet? I didn't read anything but your handwriting is good.

I saw him and measured my words.

Is that your line after 20 mins of preparation? Sorry, I expected better. But, answering your question, no. I am no poet. I write poems to feel better. I am good at cursive though. So, thank you for noticing.

He was strangling my neck in his mind for my quip. I could feel his vision boring into my forehead. I had a frightening urge to gloat, but that would be crossing a line.

Are you always this acidic?

I want to say "Yes, but only to basic people" but I doubt you will get the joke.

His eyebrows pulled together and I could sense his annoyance. Then, his expression changed, as if he had a suitable counter.

Well, you're no solution either. So.

I burst into laughter, my entire chest cavity vibrating. He got it. He got me. I did not see that coming. We sat giggling and eyeing each other for a minute. Finally, he spoke.

We got off on the wrong foot, 7B. All my fault. I was just pissed by many things and I showed it to you. I am sorry, again.

I understand. It's all good. Well, everyone has issues.

I don't doubt it for a second.

Awkward silence followed. I didn't know if I have to start a dialogue or wait. He did and it felt as if he is a normal human being.

So, do you live in New York?

Not anymore. I am moving back home.

Why? Were you a smart mouth and lost your job?

Nah. There was no purpose for me there anymore.

Wow! Dramatic. Is it required for a poet?

Oh.. dramatic would have been to throw my drink on you when you mentioned sharing a bed.

Shucks! That one's on me.

I could see he was embarrassed. He looked like he was struggling to say something. So, I initiated.

Have you heard the song 'Colorblind' by Counting Crows?

                                                                                                                                            

No 

Have you seen the movie 'Cruel Intentions'?

That I have.

Yeah, no wonder.

The boyishly charming smile was plastered on his face.

So, why did you ask?

That song was where I first learned the phrase 'tongue-tied'. I was reminded of that seeing you struggle to say something.

I am not struggling. Contemplating.

What? Couldn't be worse than talking about sharing a bed.

I laughed but he was quiet.

I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me.

I have been told I bring the unexpected out of people. Were you pissed I wasn't fan girl to you? After all, I was listening to your song.

He stared straight into me.

You know what? Yes. I was. I wanted zero conversations when I got on the plane. But, I couldn't take it when you gave me that.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I spoke to the boarding pass attendant at the gate and that was my first conversation of the day.

He gave my face a once over.

You're weird, 7B. In a subtle but impactful way. I like that.

It took me by surprise. He likes something about me. Huh! I didn't reply.

Are you taffy stuck and tongue-tied now?

My lips went Oh! He did know the song! It was foolish of me to ask if a musician like him knew that song. I can be that way sometimes underestimating people. He laughed wholeheartedly. It was a sight to watch. Until then, I was a bit preoccupied with making him squirm, I never truly saw his features. He was quite thin, fair complexioned, oblong-faced, and had straight teeth. But his smile did something to me that I haven't felt before. With anyone. It could be that celebrity charm but that's not just it. There was something hidden behind that smile and I couldn't put a finger on it. He snapped his fingers and brought me back to the present.

What?

What what? You zoned out. Are you admiring me?

He thought he could put me on a spot. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction.

Actually, yes. You do have a charming smile. I see why people are fanatics.

He looked at me puzzled.

I don't get you. I can't read you. It annoys me I can't predict what you'll say.

There's no fun in that, 7A. You know that.

Yeah, I am acquiring that taste.

He kept staring at me. He wanted me to give up and break eye contact. I badly wanted to. His smile was dismantling my insides but I didn't want to be that way. I fought him, stare for stare, all the way. A sudden turbulence jumped our plane and he caught my arm. Warm, soft fingers lingered on my wrist. I kept watching where our skin met. I was very sure he felt my pulse race. I knew that he knew he affected me. I didn't like that and I panicked. I wanted to find my shell and crawl back inside. This was the first time in more than a year, someone other than my closest friends had touched me. I was hyperventilating. I excused myself and ran to the washroom. In the privacy of the tight enclosure, I let go of my million tiny emotions and tears ran freely. My guilt shamed me into a tiny hole and I accepted that order.

Engaging with him was a mistake.

Him: Stranger-zoned

It has been a while and I was growing impatient. Was she okay? I sat back leaning and eyes closed, trying to replay what unfolded. That damn turbulence. Why did I, a grown man, have to hold her arm? I shouldn't be affected by a little turbulence. Admitting my wee-bit fear of flying and the fact that this was my first solo flight experience was shameful. What I didn't understand was how her pulse sped and why she just upped and left. Was she also afraid of flying? No, that couldn't be. Must be the lack of energy from skipping a meal. 

I called upon the stewardess and got a bowl of fruits and a pack of peanuts to her seat. I was restless it was taking this long for her to come back. I was preparing to go check up on her myself when she appeared back. There was something different. Was she puking? Her face was a bit puffy. Any chance she was crying?

F*ck! I didn't think of that. I scared her. I was all high and mighty about fans having boundary issues but I did just that. I should explain and apologize. She sat demurely and her quick-witted personality was gone. She looked withered, spent, and resigned. She looked at the fruit bowl and peanuts on her tray table and looked at me.

I ordered this for you. I thought you fell sick from not eating.

No, I am not hungry. I am just... unwell.

Look, I am sorry. I shouldn't have.

No. I shouldn't have in the first place. 

What are you talking about?

This. She gestured the space between us. I shouldn't have bothered you with my big mouth. Honestly, my reaction to seeing you was the opposite. I knew you didn't want to be disturbed. I often thought about celebs wanting their space and a normal life and how it goes down the drain when they are surrounded by fans everywhere. I should have refrained from being sassy with you. You didn't need that. I'm sorry. 

What's happening? Why is she rambling all this? Is she hurt? 

It would be better if we pulled that wall back up and be by ourselves for the rest of the flight.

I looked intently at her. She didn't meet my gaze. That strong-willed spirit inside her was all gone, leaving me with an unsure and affected woman. I was not about to go weird on her. I cleared my throat. 

What I was about to say was sorry. But not about our conversations. About crossing a line and holding your arm. To be honest, I am a bit afraid of flying and when we hit that air pocket, I panicked and held whatever I could grab. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. But, I do understand how you really felt about our interactions. It was me who started it and I realize my mistake. I'll respect your privacy. Feel better, 7B.

I pulled back my hoodie on, put on my glasses and the wall between us was up. Silence suited me usually. I welcomed it always but not today. This silence was deafening and choking. I was reeling. Something I did or said startled her. She was the first fan and first stranger who treated me differently. I was in my own skin with her. The larger-than-life persona I show outside to people was tamed in a corner when she was ribbing me. In all the talking we did, not one line about my music or fame. It was completely neutral to the point I don't even know her name. That felt unfair but that's life. I did not like it one bit that all our fun banter was over. When we land, we would go our separate ways. I mean, that's what she wants. Not me. I wanted to see her again sometime, become friends, maybe. I don't know. I think I imagined too much farther too. I thought she would fit well in my social circle, and be a reality check whenever I needed one. She had a witty way of putting me in my place. I enjoyed that. It would have been great to have that friendship. Well, she didn't want any of that. 

My one shot of having an interesting friend smoked into thin air. 

Curious to listen 'Colorblind' by Counting Crows?