INEXPLICABLE_ Phase 2: Choice_ Chapter 7

 

Phase 2: Choice

Chapter 7

Her: Past 'tense'

My day was very pleasant. I watched the ocean for a long time, mulling over things I should tell Ady. I still couldn't believe how quickly things between us developed. One minute, I was not ready to take the leap. The next minute, he was in my room, asking if I wanted to kiss. I suppressed my fears and dove in. But, I needed to tell him about my past. After deciding what to talk about, I went shopping and bought some clothes, trinkets, and sea shell merch. I got a tiny conch charm for Ady to go on his phone. I got it engraved '7A'. Then, I had lunch with colleagues and went back to my room. That's when I realized we never swapped phone numbers and I didn't know his room. I went by the beach and found none of his bandmates. As a last resort, I stopped by the reception and got his info after answering some CBI-level questions. I went over to his door and knocked. An attractive young girl in shorts and a tank opened.

Can I help you?

I'm sorry. I thought this was Ady Dheenan's room.

Yes. It is. He is in the shower. And you are?

I hesitated.

I am his friend. I can swing by later.

He and I are going to dinner. He is busy tonight.

Oh okay. Just tell him I stopped by and give him this.

I handed over the small gift box with the charm and hurried back to my room without looking back. I couldn't be at ease after I got back. We never spoke about our past or present and I didn't know if he was currently involved with anyone. I kissed him without knowing that or without telling him about me. That was a mistake. I changed to sweats and went for a long walk. I kept going until  I reached the far end of the beach. I could see guests from the adjacent resort there, so I turned around and sat on a rock.  Emotions got the better of me and I cried. I was not mad at him and I didn't think he was the cheating type. I cried due to my overwhelming feelings for him after just one day of being with him. I sensed someone running toward me. It was kind of dark to see who but I knew it was him from 100 feet away. I wiped away my tears hurriedly and looked at him. He came straight to me and knelt. Heavy breaths poured from his mouth as a result of running.

She's not my girlfriend.

He gasped and held his chest.

She's not. She is my bandmate's sister.

I couldn't stop the brimming tears. He hugged me tight against his chest. It was scary listening to the thuds of his heart. I placed my arm on his chest and comforted him. He held my face in his hands and apologized.

She is my friend's sister. She is a naïve little girl. She has been asking me out for the past year. I see her as a child and a sister but she is adamant about dating me.

He breathed heavily again.

She told me someone came asking for me, asked some questions, and left giving a gift box. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You must have felt horrible. Please don't misunderstand.

No. I didn't misunderstand. I was affected and scared by my own feelings for you. I sat and thought we know very little about each other. We don't even have phone numbers of each other.

I will settle that now.

He took out his phone and there was my charm tagged to it.

This is just amazing. Thank you for something so precious. I love it.

He smiled warmly at me. He took the phone from my hand and stored his name as ♡7A♡. He called his phone from mine and stored my number as ♡7B♡. He sat next to me and we watched the waves. It was my confession time.

I was married.

Him: Heart-wrung

I heard her but I didn't react. She was not calm and so I needed to be that for her.

I was married for over 2 years.

Some guy hurt her bad and left her broken.

Did he hurt you?

Yes. He died.

My system shook and my eyes closed without volition. I hugged her tight. She finished crying into my shoulder and sat up with little strength to continue.

I was in the States doing my JD. He was born and brought up there. His family and my family were friends from before we were born. When I moved there for Uni, he helped me out. He was a prosecutor. When our families proposed this marriage, we agreed. He was an amazing guy, a great lawyer and an incredible husband. We shared a great friendship. We sparred for our trials and brought out the best in each other. Fifteen months ago,  he died due to COVID. He was asthmatic and his lungs gave out when he caught the infection. Overnight, I was widowed and alone in that huge city.

I hugged her more.

I moved here last month after my family and friends pushed me to. I have had a hard time moving on. He was the only guy I have ever been with and I couldn't take it when he wasn't around anymore. I saw a therapist for a while and got to the 'get-out-of-bed-every-day' phase. I have been on a break from work ever since the incident. I moved back here at the insistence of my family for a change of scenery. I think I met that scenery on my flight.

Her honesty was a breath of fresh air. I smiled weakly at her.

Seeing you and talking to you made me go back to the person I was before I moved to the States. Maybe because I have known you for so long. But, when you suddenly held my arm during the flight, I panicked because no one outside my circle of people had touched me in over a year. I felt guilty like I was cheating and couldn't handle the anxiety. These past 3 weeks with family and friends have given me some strength to move on. But you gave me that in one day. There's something about you, Ady. Maybe due to the fact that I already knew on some level or just a fangirl crush. Actually, no. It is not just your music. Something in your smile. I can't..

Yeah. I know. Do you think I don't feel that too? I feel that same way when I look into your eyes every time. I sensed you had some deep scar the first time I saw you. I didn't know you had to go through this. I'm sorry. I really am.

Thank you for not reacting weirdly or running away. And for hugging me through this.

Hugging you is my new favorite thing to do.

I leaned into her and our foreheads met. We stayed still like that for a while.

What are you doing to me, Ady?

I could ask the same of you. I have never emoted, leave alone talked this much to anyone in such a short time.

You do in your songs. People may love your techno and fast numbers. But to me, your melodies are dope. You were a big part of my grieving process. I listened to your voice every day. Maybe, that's why you affect me so much. But it is not the only reason. Beyond your music, there's something. 

I am glad I helped you in some way. I wish I could take all your pain away.

You did that with your smile and your hugs. But, I want you to know if all this seems too confusing for you or too much to handle, I will totally understand it. It is important to have a healthy mind. You are free...

I want to date you.

I interrupted her with my chance to be honest. Her expression was either  'You're kidding me' or 'Are you crazy?'

I know it's not great timing but it is what I want. Do you?

She was quiet for a while, processing my words. I was afraid she would slip away from me and so I tightened my grip around her.

So, that girl is surely not your date tonight?

Nope. I have not dated in over a year and a half.

Get out!

True. I didn't want any complications.

And now?

I looked at her smiling, and knowing that would stir her up. I should say something romantic.

Señorita, please complicate the sh*t out of my life.